I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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