I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
