I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
