Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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