thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize