We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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