That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
