No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
