Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
