Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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