I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just cropdusted the office
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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