He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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