I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
