I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
