respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
