I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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