Well douche your snatch and let's go!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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