I think i peed on brittanys purse
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
