ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
