dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
