Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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