i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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