Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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