we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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