it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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