no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
