I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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