so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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