Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
