I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
