just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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