I skipped work to stalk him.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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