I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
