the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
