I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
