So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
