it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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