i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I should be sponsored by Trojan
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
