my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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