the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
