Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
