trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
