thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
