I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
