just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
