i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
