dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
