bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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