I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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