ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
