dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
