just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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