Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
