puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
