Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
